Viewing posts tagged anniversary
Today is my 4th wedding anniversary. I know year #4 is not some big milestone, like the 10th and so on....but nevertheless, for me it's a big deal.
So I made all these grand plans to celebrate, and then naturally, we all get sick. I'm sitting in bed with tylenol and tea typing this entry while the kids are napping with a fever and hubby is working on his laptop and sneezing away......
Did you know that we have never been able to celebrate our anniversary? What's with that? I think it's a jinx. During our first wedding anniversary I was pregnant with Valentino. That pregnancy was the death of me, and on the day of our anniversary (and every other day of those horrid 9 months) I was sick and unable to stand for more than 10 minutes. The following year, during our second wedding anniversary, I was pregnant again with Caspian and feeling ill being in the first trimester. Then for our third wedding anniversary I was pregnant AGAIN and then had a miscarriage.
I am glad at least this year I'm not pregnant... but annoyed that we are all sick.
Anyway, enough of my rant. Today, in celebration of our 4th year anniversary on May 27th, I thought it would be nice to write about how me and my husband met, as we are constantly asked about it and my husband is constantly LYING about how it happened. Yes, no joke, he actually lies about it. You see, he hit on me in the club. YES, IN THE CLUB. He's going to kill me when he reads this (he tells everyone it was in a restaurant). When I tell him it was a club, he argues and says that technically there was a restaurant in that club, and we weren't in the club club part of the club, whatever that means. So proper he is. Silly hubby.
So, most of you may not even care to hear the story but I know some do, so here goes. Everyone loves a good romance story, right? This is a condensed version of it.
Five years ago on a Friday night in April I was busy working at my dad's restaurant (Cafe Renaissance in Vienna) playing the violin and hostessing after a long stressful ten hour day of working as a foster care social worker. That day I worked for over 13 hours straight, then rushed home to get ready to go out again and meet some friends at a club in DC. Before leaving, my mom looks at me like I'm crazy and asks how I have the energy to go out to DC after such a long work day. I just smiled, and even though my feet were hurting from working all day, I had to go. One of my guy friends was going to introduce me to his friend, who was British, had a to-die-for accent, and was visiting from California.
So I get to the club (LIMA - rip, I will forever miss you) and I'm awkwardly standing inside the club at the bar alone waiting for my friend to come, when this hot guy comes up to me and says "hello" and starts to chat me up- with a British accent. SWOON. Why yes you can buy me a drink! Then behind him I see my friend who then introduces us. Hubby didn't even know that he was being set up, and didn't know that I was the one who he was being set up with. What a coincidence!
We then went outside and sat down in the seating area outside the club and started chatting. I learned that he was raised in London and recently moved to California. He told me he moved after his dad passed away, how he was so close to his dad, and how he took care of his dad for the last five years of his life. After he told me that I immediately thought....ok, I AM MARRYING THIS ONE! He seems to have his $h!t together, he's responsible, and he loved and cared for his dad. How sweet!!!! This is the kind of guy that may still love me even when I become old fat and ugly. SWOON AGAIN. Ok I'm in love.
This was us that first night:
That night was fantastic. He was due to leave for California the following day but extended his flight to spend more time with me. Our mutual friend later told me he had spent $600 after cancelling his flight last minute just to spend an extra day here so to see me again. WOW.
That weekend I studied him closely and learned as much as I could about him. You see, I just don't enter into a relationship with anyone. That person would have to be pretty special to have piqued my interest. It may sound silly, but I kind of had this checklist in my head that I would tick off before heading into a relationship. This was the checklist:
No interest in drugs: CHECK
Not an alcoholic: CHECK
Has morals and values: CHECK
Is not religious or part of some cult/sect/organized religion: CHECK
Not a creep: CHECK
No criminal record: CHECK
No speeding tickets: CHECK
Wears big boy pants (financially supports himself and doesn't need mommy and daddy's help): CHECK
Open to the idea of fostering children in the future: CHECK
Wants kids: CHECK
Doesn't try to be "cool" like your typical persian man. That means no doing brows, no waxing hair on his chest or back, no over doing the cologne or having ridiculous hairstyles. Confident with the way he is: CHECK
So because I'm super cautious I had my bestie from high school do a search on him to find out as much as she could about him. She worked for a private investigator and knows how to professionally stalk. I wanted her to stalk for me to find out more about him, as he seemed a little too good to be true. I needed to know there was nothing shady about him, and I needed to verify my checklist. She gave me thumbs up and told me that he is cleared. YAY! TIME TO SNATCH HIM UP.
The next few months were spent with him flying here on weekends, and flying me out to his place in Orange County, that was minutes away from the beach. He was literally a prince charming that you hear about in fairy tales. He would fly me out to California twice a month, making sure I travel in nothing less than first class. Honestly though, I would have prefered a private jet. Ok kidding.
That summer he treated me like a queen. I was constantly getting flowers delivered at work. He would shower me with gifts. Gold and diamonds from Tiffany's were no big deal. He took me on amazing vacations. He ALWAYS held the car door open for me. I would notice the little things, like in hotels he wouldn't use the nice shampoo that was for me and would instead use the cheap hotel shampoo for himself. Looking back I smile when thinking of that era. He sure spent a pretty penny on me and gave me lots of time, attention and affection. I was swept off my feet and didn't mind it one bit. It was absolutely perfect. He was investing in his future with me. Smart man he is.
During one of our trips he proposed to me on the beach during a candle lit dinner in the sand. I said yes, and 5 months later we were married. That is another fairytale story in itself. The rest is history.
Happy 4th anniversary baby! You are the best husband and father a girl can dream of. I cannot express how thankful I am for you, every single day. Love you to the moon and back. Here's to many more <3 <3 <3
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
I remember reading this poem in the funeral program for Maxine Turner, one of the students at Virginia Tech who was a victim of the shootings. I can't believe it's been nearly ten years. And every year, on this date, I get chills when I think back to that day.
I heard the news while I was at work, working in the mall at the Estee Lauder counter. I thought, wow how horrible. Only a few of my friends went to Virginia Tech, so I didn't think much that any of the few would actually be harmed. I reached out to some friends and they all told me they were ok.
That night I slaved away on my senior portfolio project, when around midnight one of my high school friends who also went to Tech comes online and tells me that Maxine didn't make it. What do you mean? I thought. Then she told me Maxine had been one of the ones who died in the shooting.
I felt like throwing up.
I remember seeing Maxine three months before the incident. I went to a James Madison High School Orchestra concert with my sister when we bumped into her after the concert. "Oh it's so good to see you, this is my sister Sara" I said to her. I feel sad thinking back, that that would be the last time I'd ever see her again.
I knew Maxine from orchestra. She played the violin also. We were in the same orchestra classes since middle school.
Every year after that happened, I would attend the middle school and high school orchestra concerts to watch my sister play her violin. And each year I would see my sister and Maxine's little brother (who also played the violin) in these concerts. I would see Maxine's mom video recording the concerts in their middle school. During each one of those concerts I had to run out midway trying to hold back tears, go to the bathroom, and cry in a stall. It didn't help that pretty much all the songs they were playing in the concerts were songs that we had played in orchestra at that age....and it all just took me back and the memories would pour in. I would get myself together, put on some foundation, and go back and sit in the audience trying to remain calm and collected, whilst distracting myself with my phone.
At her memorial service, I bumped into our orchestra teacher from that era along with a bunch of other people from our orchestra. It was a good funeral. I couldn't believe how strong and put together her family was. I honestly cannot even imagine what they must have been going through inside. I admire their strength.
Whenever I hear about school shootings, I freak out and have serious thoughts about homeschooling my kids. Especially after Sandy Hook. I can't even discuss Sandy Hook or I'll start having panic attacks.
I feel like my kids will have to live in a much more dangerous world than I grew up in. When I was little, there were no school shootings. Kids played outside without supervision. Nowadays, I would never let my kids be outside unsupervised. Maybe having a social work background has made me a bit paranoid....but seriously, there are A LOT of crazy people in this world.
If this social work thing has taught me anything useful, it is- TRUST NO ONE!!! But at the same time....be empathetic toward EVERYONE! Be nice to people even if you don't like them. Stick up for people who are being bullied. Befriend that quiet odd kid in class who everyone else ignores. Invite them to your birthday party or something. You never know, maybe you will unknowingly help prevent the next Columbine.
Anyway, my heart breaks for all victims of any and every school shooting. Especially for the families.
May all the victims rest in peace.